I don't know if I like it or not. I love the uniqueness that I have drowned myself in, but I am now the loneliest than i have ever been. i literally am a loner. there is no one to turn to, or console my feelings to. for the very first time, my family is not in the picture, nor friends --including boyfriend.
I usually had at least one of those. But now, I am completely deserted. Bare with me if my blog is too emotional, but I don't know how else to say it. I lack vocabulary. I am not happy. I wish there was somebody to turn to. I am lonely. I can't turn to anybody because i personally pushed them away, all of them. I have this attitude, this pride, that had caused me this misery.
I don't want to admit my need to be loved and appreciated. I am a mess. I am dirty. I am screwed up, and the worst part about all this is,... i don't even have an addiction. I am just vainly stubborn and prideful. I hate everyone around me, i think they are all idiots. nothing can ever go my way, because once they do, it wouldn't be the way i want it. I am tiredly fickle. ahh! when will it end?
I'm single. I need to get myself together. I am friendless. I need to get out.
everyone thinks that they know me. i hate it when they do that. what the fuck would they know about me? they don't spend an inch of time with me.
it's fine. i don't care. as long as they leave me alone. i hate their know-it-all personality.
i hear strumming.. strumming.. drums beating... beating...:) and i am ok..
